christmas do

Any little crumb i had of respect (and yes before you all shake your heads in shock that there was any left.. there was.. well if you don't count the 1st day when i scalded bout 3 people with my just poured coffee and managed to somehow headbutt the fridge with about as much elegance as a goat) anyway back to respect from my new work collages here in Bristol which i single handily destroyed on wed night... WORK XMAS DINNER/DRINKS!!!! need i say more... the night began quite innocently really...

1. was running late as usual get showered do hair, makeup clothes etc etc blah blah blah, i really am not in the mood for all this girly stuff at the best of times but hey had to make some sort of effort.. dunno why i bothered now in hind sight

2. to be fair this isn't really no.2 but an extension of number 1,, my outfit.. i had spent ages trailing round the shops buying outfits.. bring them back.. buying more... bringing that back.. and so on... and what did i end up with i hear you cry with excitement... a super tight black pencil skirt that i couldn't walk in other than like something that resembled a penguin and a green satin top that my boobs kept popin out of (little as there is) and made me look really fat (any1 on ringo look at the photo's, and yes b4 the cheeky comments begin, that is the top).. not exactly the sexy classic look i wanted to go for but hey (rhonda come home!!!) so the taxi arrived filled with all the work guys, so i waddled across the street and sort of threw myself in and the night began...

3. went to pub 1st of all, cos i was feeling a little self conscience i was downing drink like some1 who had never seen liquid before, so by the time i was leaving i was well tiddley, and just being really giggly and stupid and while most of the guys were having polite professional conversation about phase rev and xlr cables etc i was having more fun laughing at the huge china elephant that was by us at the bar (it was pretty amazing) oh and also the 2 really old gay guys fondling in the corner ( actually i was more in shock at that than laughing) anyhoo.. we left the pub thankfully b4 the voice in my head got it's own way to make me start siting on the large elephant in various positions..

4. the restaurant.. oh no they expected me to eat a three course meal.. gez i could hardly breath in the skirt never mind expand myself even more... but have to say my mind was soon changed when i read the menu, really you could say i was on an upward climb 4 a short while as every1 else began catching up on my level of drunkness...yeaa...i managed somehow by the grace of god to eat my whole meal with out spilling any, choking or just generally causing an uncultured scene.. then...

5. dancing.. not one of my strengthts at the best of times, but some spidey looking DJ had erected himself in the corner and was playing every cheesy single that has ever been released (that really shouldn't have,) since the 1960... needless 2 say i complimented the music with equally cheesy dance moves... i was dragging every1 2 the dance floor and didn't even take the hint when they quickly ran and sat down again, oh no i was straight back over (prob poking their eyes out with my boobs) practically carrying them back to the floor... not good... so eventually everyone was on the floor and i offered to go to the bar to buy drinks....

6. while at the bar some guy started chatting to me.. couldn't understand one word he was saying.. was it because the music was too loud or that i was too phished.. no he was welsh ( but also quite cute well very actually), so i spent most of the conversation going, "sorry what" "can't hear you" and "say that again please but in some form of english" but too cut a long story short we skipped most of the small talk part and just started the curtin and some strange drunken form of dirty dancing.. (oh he was so nice!) anyway i managed to drink every1's drinks on my own that i had offered to buy and had been away for ages.. bought more drinks and headed back to table which was only bout 4 feet away from bar to discover most people had gone and the rest had been standing watching (and laughing) at us two all over each other.. they must think i'm a right slut, i was only talking to him for bout 10mins tops... anyway went back to the bar and next thing i know my boss was over (interrupting a kiss unfortunately for him) to give me a fiver for a taxi home cos every1 else was leaving... like really.. who goes to a work party to pick up some random guy and ignore your workmates for the last part of the evening cos some bloke has got his tongue half way down your throat...

7. anyway every1 left me there with him, and it was then i realised that i hadn't payed for the meal or the drinks or wished any1 happy christmas.. anyway the rest of the nite does not belong on this blog but all i can remember is being offered a free tequila if we agreed to leave the bar soon and being yelled at by the spidey dj for knocking his headphones of with one of my incredible dance moves... so all in all very embarrassing nite and have been getting the pissed ripped out of me since... why am i such a drunken dick??